I have decided to Guai La (Its without the 'n' because I am forbidden by the demerit point system to Guai Lan a very respected teacher to the fullest extend) Miss Chan coz she's a cool teacher.
And today, she mentioned sth in class today which, unfortunately, gave me a chance to "Guai La" her. Thats what she said to Xing Kai. Miss Chan:" Xing Kai!! Don't sleep on the pillow. The pen is mightier than the pillow."
Then, I thought of the following points.
1) The pen is mightier than the pillow.(I put my chin in my hand and makes a sad face)
2)But I am mightier than the pen and the pillow,since I can control them.
3)However, Miss Chan is mightier than I am because she can control Xing Kai to control his brains to control his head which do not include the brains to NOT lie on the pillow.
4)Unfortunately, in terms of strength, I am mightier than Miss Chan.
5)And my mum is mightier than me.
6)So my father is mightier than my mum.
7)But now, the pillow should be mightier than my father since he don't use the pen.
8)He uses the pencil.
9)Therefore, the pillow should be mightier than the pen and not the other way around.
10)Then, the pen and the pillow would be mightier than me.
11)AND I WILL BE MIGHTIER THAN MISS CHAN.
12)Then, unfortunately, Miss Chan will be mightier than me in terms of strength.
13)And I am mightier than my mum.
14)So my mum is mightier than my father.
15)But now, again, my father should be mightier than the pillow since he don't use the pillow.
16)He uses the bolster.
17)Thus, the pen must be mightier than the pillow and not the other way......
The cheers of the crowd and the blasting voice of commentator filled the gigantic stadium. Soccer players were warming themselves up for the intense sports. I was the goalkeeper representing the Young Lions of S. League. I was sure that my team will win, since the legendary player, Eto'o and Scholes, had transferred to my team last week. "Boom, Boom, Boom" The familiar sound of drums gave a boost in our morale. My mother, grandmother, grandfather and my dead Auntie even came to support me, David James.
The referee suddenly came to the half court line and started to dance. It was then that I realized it was that gay referee that I loved most! He often does stupid things and act as if he was a woman. He went up to me and hypnotized me. Soon, i was in deep sleep. The referee suddenly came to the half court line and started to dance. It was then that I realized it was that gay referee that I loved most! He often does stupid things and act as if he was a woman. He went up to me and hypnotized me. Soon, i was in deep sleep.
Soon after, I woke up. "Beep!" I was lucky that I was able to wake up just in time to play the match. I saw my opponent with a screwed-up face, Park Ji Sung, in possession of the ball and running towards me. He did a high lob shot and I dodged, thinking it was a cannonball which I was dreaming about just now. Before I had a chance to come back to my senses, the crowd roared. Holding my breath, I looked behind. A ball was nestled comfortably in the bottom of the goal-net. I heard the commentator, who happened to be my son, says, "Park Ji Sung has just scored the fastest goal in history so far in the 99 years of records! He has a fast foot indeed, scoring just 6 seconds afetr kick-off!" I was sweating-my team mates were swearing at me.
I then realized that I was not in a dream. I perked up and focused my energy. I was so angry at Park Ji Sung(Park Tie Haa's son) that the adrenaline produced forced me to dribble the ball in the opponent's net. I ran and ignored my team mate's call and I fell and the ball hit my balls. I forced myself to stand up and saw the opponents' goalkeeper, Buffon, laughing till he died. I took the opportunity to and used my head to roll the ball into the net. It was then I saw the scoreboard as 2-0! Suddenly, time froze. Everybody was standing in their previous position and they were not moving. the referee and I was the only persons who could move.
I freaked out. The referee told me that he was an immortal and he was capable of making the opponent's goals as mine. That explained the phenomenon of the scoreboard showing a score of 2-0 instead of 1-1. My team was winning! As a gift from me, I gave him 1 US dollar and then he unfroze the time. I allowed the opponent's tem to score as much goal as they like and ignored my team mates' angry shouts and curses. They did not know about the secret between me and the referee, and we longed for the match to end too see their surprised faces. My coach and manager, Faggotson, was so angry with me that he pointed obscene gestures and forces me to be substituted with Ballack as goalkeeper. Then, the referee helped me. I saw him freezing time and gave Faggotson 5 punches and a 540 roundhouse flying kick in the face. He then goes back into his previous position and unfroze time again so that no one would wonder why a man could suddenly disappear and appear again.
I saw Faggotson lying dead with blood mixed with lotus bun he had been eating just now. When everybody was panicking, 90 minutes was up. I looked at the scoreboard and it was 22-0! My team mates looked at it in both amazement and excitement. Suddenly, my team mates carried me high up in the air as if they had forgotten what happened at the match. What confused me is that all my opponents did not even mutter a word but had their heads hung low instead.
The next day, I saw myself on the telecast of the match on my newly bought plasma TV from Courts., and what I saw made me puke exactly one litre blood. All of the 22 goals was scored by me, a goalkeeper, and my skills were better thn Ronaldinho plus Cristiano and all the soccer players multiplied by 60million. I got pass 10 opponents without even one accidental blunder and very one of the 22 goals I scored was spectacular and unbelievable. One of the less exciting goals was a high-flip-flap-step-over-sealing dribble goal. That was impossible for any legendary players or aliens to do. I started to feel guilty about the mistake and pondered over how such crazy things can happen to me.
The following week, I cannot bear my own guilt any longer and I resolved to tell this to the media.
Just two days afetr I revealed the truth, the referee came to my house and killed me.
Such is life, after being killed my a time-stopping gay. Anyway.....*gasp*...before I die*gasp*, I must *gasping* tell you the website where you can *GASPING* find all my inc...redible g...o...a...ls....., www......S87y39nr3yuji.youtubewatch...*Gaspi...*...there-is actually-no-such-website.com.haha.sg*Gone*~~~
If you are desperately looking for a housewife or especially a part time job to earn some money, writing a resume is very important. So, I am going to teach you HOW to NOT write one.
For example:
Objectives: Exceptionally assiduous, aspiration-oriented, unfeasibly accomplished honourable servant and vastly persistent instinct to execute constant perserverance without excessive use of thesaurus, although this fastidious species has been wiped out millions of years ago.
I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past two years.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern.......
---
I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
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I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
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I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
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I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
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I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
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I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
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I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
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I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our troops.
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I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
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I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
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I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
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Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within 5 minutes.
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I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has been dying for the past seven years.
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I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
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Now to Return the Favor:
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00 PM and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer. So you'd better get going on that e-mail!!!
P SLE: Amy, Bob and Charlie share 28 buns altogether in the ratio of 2:1:4 respectively. How many buns did Amy receive?
'O' Level: Amy, Bob and Charlie each share a box of buns. Each box contains 5 red buns, three blueberry buns and two coconut buns. Amy picks two buns from her box at random. Find the probability that the two buns are of the same flavour.
'A' Level:Amy's kidneys clearance have a BUN value of 10mg/mmol and Bob's cholesterol have a mass of 60 mg, which is 3 times the value of Amy's kidney clearantine value. Calculate her Urea molecular weight in dl/Urea and mg/dl BUN. (Assume Amy has an age of between 15 to 20)
'B' Level: Amy, Bob and Charlie each share a box of buns. Each box contains 5 red buns, three blueberry buns and two coconut buns. Furthermore, Amy will tie her hair into a bun if Bob either took 5 red buns from the box consecutively or 1 coconut bun from the box. However, if Amy tie her hair into a bun, Charlie will HAVE to take a blueberry bun from the box. Out of the 2 coconut buns, one of them contain a preservative which allows the bread to be kept at room temperature for six days. The other breads are not preserved and therefore, spoils in just 1 day. Every 3 days a week, Bob will have to work 6 hours a day, and 3 hours after buying the bread, he will either take 2 coconut buns or 1 red bean bun. The probability that he will forget to eat the buns is 1 out of every 3 days he works. Everytime he forgets to eat the bun, his colleague will steal one of the 3 buns. (a) What is the probability of Amy having food poisoning, after eating Bob's colleague's stolen bread? (b) What is the probability of Amy tying her hair into a bun when Bob goes to work?
The 3 types of bra: The Catholic type supports the masses, The Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, The Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.
I had a dream this morning and immediately wrote it down on a piece of paper to prevent myself from forgetting it. I shall share with u my dream which last for at least 6 hours( I think(dreams are weird)) because I found it very interesting. Here goes: I met a girl named Jessie (quite pretty, but I forgot her distinct features). We were in Sydney and we are the best of friends. I began to like her and then we went shopping together. The scene was like Singapore, except I saw an Eiffel Tower in the distance.(I told u dreams are weird) She was choosing clothes and I was accompanying her and thought how luck I was to have her as a friend. Then, out of the blue I was kicking a soccer ball beside her and another two girls came out of nowhere and tackled me. After defeating them with my skills, a boy came and tackled the ball away from me. His skills are so fast that the ball moves around his feet in a blur. I tried to tackled him and soon, I tackled until we went into a clothes store. I tackled him but to no avail to get the ball from him. I continue to tackle him until we went out of the store again. Just as he left the store, the alarm beep. It was then that I realized that the alarm beep because the boy is holding an unpaid violin case. He was irresponsible enough to throw the violin case to me so that I would be accused of stealing the violin case, not him. Luckily, the shop owner saw what happened and demand the boy to come to the cashier. What happened next is that I walked out of the store and to my shock, Jessie wasn't there anymore. I was afraid to lose a friend like her so I went into the shop to look for her, but she was not inside. So I went out of the store to look for her and there she was again, choosing her favourite clothings. But she seem to look like someone else, so I said, "Jessie?" and to my relief, she replied something which I forgot. So we continue to browse clothes together and it was eternity before she leave the store but boght nothing with her, but I am extremely happy to have her by my side. Soon, it was time to return to the hotel, but we went to the Sydney's airport instead, and we haven't even checked out of that hotel yet-.- So when I told he that my bag is still in Hao Kai's house(I dunno why I said that), she told mr=e not ot worry and that she will take a plane back to Sydney on Monday to get it for me from Hao Kai's house. The next thing I knew is that she and me were already on a plane to Singapore. On reaching Singapore, I look and saw that the plane is landing on Meridian JC's runway and then.....when I look and Jessie.... I SAW THAT SHE HAS TURNED INTO MY MUM!!!!!!!Arghh!!I was feeling weird. And then, I woke up, it was moring 10.12 a.m.
This dream is the longest dream I have ever had and the longest dream that I ever remembered and recorded it down. Funny that this short dream can let me fell that I has last for at least 6 hours. Research have shown that after dreaming and having woken up, the best thing to do is to remain lying and closing your eyes and slowly recall your dream, then write it down immediately. Once you open your eyes for at least 4 seconds, almost 15% of the dream would have been forgotten. All thanks to Jessie that I may be able to remember this dream so vividly due to my regrettion(if there's such a word) of not telling her what I felt towards her and when I woke up, I still misses her alot. I regretted for the rest of 1 hour then I thoght it was stupid to like someone imaginary and then when I was eating my spaghetti breakfast cooked by my mum, I started to think about her again. Oh man...the dream's so real...except the part when Jessie turns into my mum. Now that's weird.
P.S. Jessie is an imaginary person from my dream and is confirmed to be not related to any people named "Jessie" or any person with similar name whatsoever.Bye.
Ok nvm((nevermind) if u dunnoe(don't know) wat nvm is) I shall 开门见山. I just found out that heymaths is hackable, and if u get the hack right, u can get a result like this:(Dunno why image upload le so blur also..) And before I found out about that glitch, this is the s*** results I get, then I regretted not finding the glitch earlier.早知今日,何必当初
Ok. Here are the steps. (Works best for Mozilla Firfox) 1) Log on to heymath. 2)Log on using your NRIC and password 3)Click on "Heymath!For Anglican High School. 4)Click on "Heymath! Benchmarks-June 2009. 5)Then click on one of the tests your teacher asked you to do.(wateva) 6)Since or if you are lazy to do, click all answers to choice 1. 7)And then 8)Submit test. 9)You will then see your s*** results.Take note of which question are wrong. 10)Now's the important part. 11)Click on the browser's "back" button, while simultaneaously pressing the keyboard's "Esc" button. 12)Since all of our internet conn. spd is different, this may not work. So if this does not work,try pressing the "esc" button 0.5 sec before the page opens.(U can estimate) 13)If the above succeed, you will be at the page where you can choose your choices again. 14)You should know the questions which are answered wrongly. (While at this page, remember to press the "Esc" button every 0.5 sec) 15)By simple logic, the wrong answers should have possible answers of "Choice 2,3 or 4" 16) While constantly pressing the escape button, click all the wrong answers to choice 2. 17)Then click "Submit test". *Note*When clicking "Submit test", stop pressing the escape button or you will close the pop-up as shown below:**At the bottom left, the should also be the wordings "Stopped" if you use Mozilla Firefox. From the pop up, you should see it reads as "Test Questions. Are you sure you want to submit the test?" and not "Time left 56:24(or wateva time)Are you sure you want to submit the test?" Like the one below: 18)You will see, after submitting the test, that your resullts improved by a little. 19)Then repeat step 11 again. Remeber to take note the wrong answers. 20)The remaining wrong questions will have either have Choice 3 or 4. 21)And so on.... There are 21 steps here, but the whole process takes only about 6mins.
I woke up early to baby blue eyes from the afar whoah whoah and when the sun comes through and lights you like the angel you are whoah whoah I know I do you wrong when I’m with you I’ve been gone
With every season change, it looks the same (november to june) whoah whoah And dont these empty streets skip a beat the flowers dont bloom whoah whoah
I can’t believe I missed your birthday again and I wanna come back but I just don’t know when now
And I’m so lonely your not here with me That’s why I’m gonna be on the next plane home
The road that never ends around the bend I see you smile whoah whoah I’d swim across the sea to be with you for a while whoah whoah cos I’m made a life would be gone now the way that I feel is i just don’t belong here
And I’m so lonely you’re not here with me thats why I’m gonna be on the next plane home And you’re you’re the only face I wanna see thats why I’m gonna be on the next plane home
Stand around try to make every moment and be somebody yeah anybody it seems the whole world is taking me over I need somebody to help me getting back to it
and I’ve always been a million miles away but things are gonna change I just wanna come home
And you’re you’re the only face I wanna see thats why I gonna be on the next plane home yeah I’m taking the next plane home Now I’m getting the next plane home Now I’m taking the next plane home
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK3wi2Tt4Pc Original version: NS is for everyone NS is a crime NS is a must for all NS waste of time Civil Defence and police Don't forget armee We cannot escape And we don't wanna go DB
Listen fellow Singapore Listen carefully Want to share something with you Don't worry its free I served NS for 2 years This is my story Who is singing out of tune The name's Evil Bunny Some of them AYAM SAKIT Some are super on Some like to Angkat ENCIK Some are plain moron Mess boy, Provost and Medic All have taste the whip. But at the end of the day We're nothing but conscripts Kena tortured day and night This is BMT All your friends working full time You have no money Everybody likes to keng Rub some soap in eyes Whack your knees with metal pipes And get mc as prize
NS is for everyone NS is a crime NS is a must for all NS waste of time Civil Defence and police Don't forget armee We cannot escape And we don't wanna go DB
I tell you 2 years is no joke Tahan all the way Grit my teeth and clench my fist They'll free me one fine day Difficult to find a job But I'm optimist Finally get interview But clash with reservist Unemployed for 3 long years Girlfriend dumped me too Suddenly the news say "War!" Expect me fight for you
Listen fellow Singapore Listen carefully I'm not against NS now Hope you not blind to see I know of a better way Sign some peace treaties Cut down on the arrogance Show HU-MI-LI-TEE Lend a hand when they need help Deliver some aid too God forbid we'll burn in flames And friends to the rescue And who knows they'll sell us sand Play soccer with Malaysia Sell us cheap water Majulah Singapura!
NS is for everyone NS is a crime NS is a must for all NS waste of time Civil Defence and police Don't forget armee We cannot escape And we don't wanna go DB Lalalalalalalalalala....Deedeedeedeedeedee....
My Edited version:
MS is for everyone MS not a crime MS is a must for all MS don't waste time Ribbon pig and cute blue snails Kill them with your skills They will drop mesos You lucky they drop equipments
Listen fellow maplers Listen carefully Want to share something with you Don't worry its free I played MS for 2 years This is my story Now still scared to fight Balrog I scared lose EXP Some of them vulgarities Some always KS Some like to say "CC please" Some are full of zest Archer, warrior, mage and thief Don't forget pirates Play until forget brush teeth Then level two hundred Lets go find a good GF I want to marry But need a lot of A-cash I have no money Damn sian then go play PQ People scold "**** You" Not happy I quit party Press F5 give them see.
MS is for everyone MS not a crime MS is a must for all MS don't waste time Ribbon pig and cute blue snails Kill them with your skills They will drop mesos You lucky they drop equipments
I like to scam those stupid noobs Mesos ten billion I think I was very good Buy twenty fairfrozens Fight monsters for two full years Why not use some hack They say GMs very fierce But also very slack Later ownself kena hacked no more fairfrozens I tell myself "What a crap!" That makes no diference Listen fellow maplers Listen carefully I'm not playing MS now Hope you blind to see I know of a better way Go play PangyaSea Don't tell people ypur passwords Passwords are not free If you have a big big mouth Don't give up, play DOTA No username no passwords Nearest LAN not so far I like to play playstation Who cares I have fairfrozen Respect Singapore Majulah Singapura!
MS is for everyone MS not a crime MS is a must for all MS don't waste time Ribbon pig and cute blue snails Kill them with your skills They will drop mesos You lucky they drop equipments Lalalalalalalalalala....Deedeedeedeedeedee....
An abandoned boy, Kevin, gave a bash to his uncle’s face whom he abhorred. His uncle had absconded with an abundance of frozen chicken wings without accede and accelerated to Kevin’s Superdog store to accumulate more frozen chicken wings into his sack. Kevin’s uncle is a cute burglar who loves to steal frozen chicken wings and advancing quickly to the next target without getting caught, but this time, Kevin caught him red-handed. “Please let me off... I have a f-fluent, so I have to eat chicken wings to alleviate the flu and alter the virus into sleep mode to ameliorate my sickness,” said the uncle. Kevin did not care and angled his fist at his uncle’s annual. Since then, his uncle had an anomaly there. (His uncle’s name is Antipathy) But that didn’t stop his aplomb uncle from stealing more frozen chicken wings. It was apparent that he did not learn a lesson from Kevin’s punch, but instead, appreciated it because the punch made a hole apt inappropriate enough to put more frozen chicken wings. When Kevin learnt about this he was so angry that he decided to travel to the arid desert to find an arrogant cactus which has the ability to assail enemy airplanes since WW1 with astounding powers. When Kevin reached there, he immediately pleaded the cactus to give him super powers so that he can catch his uncle whenever he steals frozen chicken wings. However, the cactus said that he must attain the “Mark of Cactusy” by entering a series of test to attract the powers from the cactus. “One mistake from the test and you’re out” the cactus Guai Lan-ed Kevin. Then, Kevin stepped in the portal to the test. He was ordered to play Maplestory and clear the party quest within 4 hours, which augmented to his frustration. Suddenly, he remembered that there is a hack website called WWW.HACK4KEVIN.COM/NOOB that provides hacks. So he downloaded the hacks and finished the quest within 6 minutes. He picked up the “Mark of cactus” which dropped from nowhere after he finished the quest and proceeded to the exit and hoped nothing had gone awry so that the cactus will know nothing of his cheating.--------To be continued, or not?
Where is the moment we needed the most You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost They tell me your blue skies fade to gray They tell me your passion's gone away And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low You're faking a smile with the coffee you go You tell me your life's been way off line You're falling to pieces every time And I don't need no carryin' on
Because you had a bad day You're taking one down You sing a sad song just to turn it around You say you don't know You tell me don't lie You work at a smile and you go for a ride You had a bad day The camera don't lie You're coming back down and you really don't mind You had a bad day You had a bad day
Will you need a blue sky holiday? The point is they laugh at what you say And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day You're taking one down You sing a sad song just to turn it around You say you don't know You tell me don't lie You work at a smile and you go for a ride You had a bad day The camera don't lie You're coming back down and you really don't mind You had a bad day
(Oooh.. a holiday..)
Sometimes the system goes on the blink And the whole thing turns out wrong You might not make it back and you know That you could be well oh that strong And I'm not wrong
(yeah...)
So where is the passion when you need it the most Oh you and I You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day You're taking one down You sing a sad song just to turn it around You say you don't know You tell me don't lie You work at a smile and you go for a ride You had a bad day You've seen what you like And how does it feel for one more time You had a bad day You had a bad day
THE EDITED VERSION:
There is the moment I’m eatin’ the most
I pick up the spoon and the tomato sauce
Open my mouth and the whole world’s gone
Even all my fats and oil are “bombed”
And I don't need no carryin' on
Teletubies is my favourite kid show
There’s Tinky-Winky,Dipsy, Lala and po
I’m childish but have nowhere to go
I can only be a couch potato
And I don't need no carryin' on
Because I had a fat day
And I’m getting mad
I exercised nothing but only my trap
I mustn’t get fat
And I’m getting sad
I shouldn’t get more heart clots that I once had
I had a fat day
My mama will say
“You're really obese and that’s really damn gay”
I had a fat day
I had a fat day
Well, I need a slimming pill and all
The point is they laugh at both your balls
And I don't need no carryin' on
I had a fat day
And I’m getting mad
I exercised nothing but only my trap
I mustn’t get fat
And I’m getting sad
I shouldn’t get more heart clots that I once had
I had a fat day
My mama will say
“You’re really obese and that’s really damn gay”
I had a fat day
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And I thought mine body shrink
I might not cut much fat which I think
That I could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong (ahhh...)
Where is the chicken rice when I need it the most
Oh, my oh my
I pick up the spoon and the tomato sauce
'Cause I had a fat day
And I’m getting mad
I exercised nothing but only my trap
I mustn’t get fat
And I’m getting sad
I shouldn’t get more heart clots that I once had
I had a fat day
My mama will say
“you're really fat and that’s not OK”
I had a fat day
I had a fat day
(Oh, yeah, yeaaah, yeah)
Had a fat day
(Oh, had a fat day)
Had a fat day
(Oh, yeah, yeah, yeeeeah)
Had a fat day
(Oh, had a fat day)
Had a fat day...
Had a fat day...
*This song has nothing against fat people.
Hi! My name is Walter and I am as sly as a fox. Guess who I am?
The fear of number 13 is called triskaidekaphobia.(lol) There were thirteen people at Christ's Last Supper before his captivity, it is recorder that Christ was crucified on Friday. Routine mission to the moon goes drastically wrong on Apollo 13. Some hotels skip number thirteen when numbering rooms. In Formula 1, there is no car with the number 13.Okay...Anyway, does your house address start with a 1? According to a strange mathematical law, about 1/3 of house numbers have 1 as their first digit. The same holds true for many other areas that have almost nothing in common: the Dow Jones index history, size of files stored on a PC, the length of the world’s rivers, the numbers in newspapers’ front page headlines, and many more. The law is called James' law--just kidding--actually it is Benford’s law, after its (second) founder, Frank Benford, who discovered it in 1935 as a physicist at General Electric. The law tells how often each number (from 1 to 9) appears as the first significant digit in a very diverse range of data sets. Besides the number 1 consistently appearing about 1/3 of the time, number 2 appears with a frequency of 17.6%, number 3 at 12.5%, on down to number 9 at 4.6%. In mathematical terms, this logarithmic law is written as F(d) = log[1 + (1/d)], where F is the frequency and d is the digit in question. Benford took this observation a step further than Newcomb, and began investigating other groups of numbers, finding that the “first digit law” emerged in groups as disparate as populations, death rates, physical and chemical constants, baseball statistics, the half-lives of radioactive isotopes, answers in a physics book, prime numbers, and Fibonacci numbers. In other words, just about any group of data obtained by using measurements satisfies the law.
Nowadays, people have too much cards. Wallet sizes increases from XS to XXL. So, I composed a song out of boredom....(sing according to the tune of Jingle Bells). Christmas is coming...anyway. goes like this:
I love apple tarts Without money is hard I'd use credit card Buy my apple tart.. I love Prepaid cards But not smelly farts, Call using my cute phonecard, Report my lost pass card...Hey!
Ez-link card, member card, are not for retards. Also transparency cards Display "No pork No lard"
Cash card and, Driving card, All cannot discard. Responsible is your part (Sorry, brok'n englissshh) To buy your apple tart...Hey!
(Slows down) Cards.....in.....Carts, Carts.....on......cards...... Cut...cards...in...my...cart... Eat..curds..in..cups..with..some..crust.. In a one horse open sleigh...Yeah!!(lol)
The word "Discipline" was the word I hear everyday since I came out of my mother's womb and enter this world. It was the first word I know how to write since I am 2 years old, partly because it was, or is, my name. It was when I was 6 years old that I realised half the meaning of my name. My mum said discipline meant the ability to obey rules and controlling one's behaviour, after browsing a thick and large book, somewhat as big as her head. The title of the book was only a word long, which starts with letters "DIC", and forgot the rest as soon as my mum returned the book to the book shelves. Being young, I misunderstood the meaning of discipline that my mum read as " the ability to control one's behaviour", and the "One" misunderstood as a person's name, so I started looking for a person named "One" during my first kindergarten year, but found no one. On the second year, I gave up. What a fool I was. Nearing the mid year of my kindergarten, my mummy left the world. My father was working then. It all started on a hot Saturday morning when I realised my mom was sleeping longer than usual, and when I tried pushing my mom to wake her up, I felt that her body was as cold as ice. I thought maybe she drank too much ice water the previous night. As I stood there wondering why her body was so cold, I began to feel hungry, so I dialed my father's phone number on my toy plastic phone, and the reply was a song of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". getting frustrated(a hungry man makes an angry man=a hungry child makes a angry child) by the song again and again, I threw it towards the direction of the dustbin(I missed) and rummaged through my mom's handbag to search for her phone. Finally I found it in a small compartment well-hidden. Of course, I dialed the number again and got a scolding by an Indian man for dialling his number umpteen times and shouted that he had remained single for his lifetime and that he had no children whatsoever in a strong Tamil accent. Learning my lesson, I altered the sequence of the numbers and dialled again. Finally I heard my father's voice. I told and ask him everything from how hungry I was to why mom's body was so cold in such a hot day. And the line went dead. Just like that. Not long after, my father was beside me. I still could not understand why dad had rushed home from work after I called him. Preparing a meal for me? Maybe. All questions were answered when dad told me that mum will be sleeping forever and not wake up anymore, with lots and lots of tears in his eyes. That was when I thought about the sleeping beauty fairy tale my teacher had been teaching the class. So I proceed to ask my father the reason for rushing back home was it to see my mom turn into a sleeping beauty. No reply. The second question I asked as that why don't you kiss her so she wakes up? T last a reply from my father-----a slap. It was the first time I tasted the taste of my own tears. I realised it was salty. I grew up to be a thirteen year old boy. In a blink of an eye, I was secondary one. My father, friends, teachers, principal or whoever I met told me to have more discipline because of my name. Now I hate my mom for giving me such a stupid name, or should I hate the one who invented the word? For once, I am not sure, but why am I the only one who should have discipline? As a result, the feeling of unfairness started sprouting in my heart. I started to rebel. I left school at fourteen as my results were poor to the extreme. My father was having a good time with another woman at that point of time and did not care about my well being although he still provides. Yearning for freedom, I resolved to steal my father's money and get away. I took $5000 from a cupboard where my father always keeps his money, albeit sometimes in the bank, and left the house I bet my father would not even care abut my disappearance and I was right. No "missing" posters were seen anywhere in such a small island. As I spent the last penny of the money to computer gaming, food, drinks and hair-cutting, I regretted leaving the house but immediately took back the regrets in my heart as I thought of my uncaring father at the time when my mum died to now when he was still having fun with another woman. How drastically a typical human can change within a small period of time. How stupid is he is, too, as computer games are much more fun than a woman. Of course, to the contrary to my name, I have absolutely no discipline when it comes to computer gaming.. Now that I have no money, how could I play computer games? Unless I beg in the streets. An Indian man decided to adopt me when he saw me so pitiful. He reminded me of the man I spoke to when I was young when I called my father, and sounded exactly like him. As he led me away, the very first question was if he had any computers in his house. He gave me a curious glance but remained quiet. I was fifteen then. The Indian man renamed me Mars Sirlarmart Bin Discipline when he came to know of my name and warn me to have discipline as he could see that I am a computer addict as the very first question I asked him was about the computer. I began to hate him because of that and also partly because he did not have any source of entertainment in his house, except a television set. A smell of coconut oil filled the entire house. The next day, out of tiredness, I demanded him to buy me a computer and to my surprised, he obliged. Therefore, I played the computer for long hours until one day, the Indian man said strictly that I should have discipline and start studying before enrolling me into a school. At once I flared up with anger on hearing the words "school", "discipline" and "studying". Do the Indian man not know that I hate schooling? I rushed to the kitchen and took a knife. What happened after that was a scream and a loud "thud" sound. I killedthe man. I stood rooted to the ground, not knowing to run or to call the police. The negative side of my conscience got the better of me and ran out of the door, never to come back. I did not expect the police to know who killed the man, but was soon caught by plain clothes police around the streets. The police sent me to the blackley's detention centre for interrogation and I felt a sudden urge to escape, so I told the police that I wanted to go into the washroom. When they were out of my sight, I jumped out of the window and escape, but I have to pay a price for my escape. A broken left leg. Soon after, "Wanted" posters of my photos was all around. In busses, MRTs, restaurants and even Starhub and M1 agreed to aid the police to send out millions of my face to subscribers. Don't they know my face was not to be distributed for all to see? After all, I did not allow them! I am at the Pulau Ubin now with people helping me there, but gets frustrated often by the fact that they have no computers at all. At least I am contented that they helped me to get away from the hands of the law. The lack of discipline made me defiant against my teacher, steal my father;s money, leave home to even murder, so therefore, now in Pulau Ubin, I am writing this to whoever is lucky to read this to have discipline and not name his child or children "Discipline", or you or your child might end up just like me, Mus Sirlarmart Bin Discipline.
The story is about a prince who wanted a princess very urgently, but he needed a real princess. It also included a true princess who have difficulty sleeping because of a pea on her bed.This story happened in a palace and the main door of the palace was the very place the prince first met the true princess.
The first time the prince met the princess was on a stormy night. The princess said she was Kayla and was trapped in a storm. It was a dreadful sight for her. She then ask for a warm milk and the prince's mother exclaimed in surprise when she saw her because she as very beautiful. The prince's mother had three magic peas in her enchanted box whom she did not tell anyone, even the King, and decided to use it to test whether the princess was a real one.
The queen put the peas under twenty mattresses and ask her servants to led her to the room that night as a real princess would feel like sleeping on three jagged rocks. The next day, the queen ask the princess how the sleep was yesterday, the princess hesitated for a moment and burst out crying and said that even though the queen's bedroom was enchanted, but she felt as though she was sleeping on three jagged rocks. The queen realised that this is really the true princess so she laughed out of joy as only princesses had such a delicate skin to feel the three peas under her bed. The princess stood there speechless wondering why the queen was so happy until the prince appeared and explained what actually is going on.
Maybe you could guess what the boring ending is--- they married and live happily after=.= If you are ever travelling and you decide to visit the palace, ask to see the very room the prince and the princess fall in love, and you will find three peas lying on a pink pillow. Try not to take it as it belongs to the princess.
Coda: Do not take other's belongings without prior permission.
Reasons why I chose this book:(Partly because I like the author)
This book is really funny and gross which led me away from reality. It contains a lot of immature materials unsuitable for adults, that is why I like this book. The contents contains huge amount of butt-action which is all crappy will encourage readers to keep their butts secure at all times.
Reasons why others should read this book: (not recommended for adults over 20 years of age)
People can understand that their butt can actually detach itself from the owners' bodies if they are not well-taken of so that they will keep in mind to take care of their butts if they do not want any poisonous gas to suffocate them or to face a bunch of angry, cluster butts.
The most interesting event is when the B-team, which consist of the Kicker, Smacker and the Kisser, was fighting a group of feral butts. The butts came from all around them. Zack was not a butt-fighter, so he ducked and stayed still so that the butts will not attack him with disgusting brown bogs which Zack hated, but he ducked a little too late. As a result, a butt came and stuck to his face until the Smacker gave it a double-handed slap. What came after is that even more butts from a nearby buttcano came and attacked the B-team. Rogue butts, piranha butts, runaway butts, prosthetic butts, Great White butt(leader), hairy butts, Siberian screaming butts, siren butts, Kamikaze butts, feral butts, cluster butts and Hopper-butts were all out in full force. The B-team showed an array of tactics as follows:
The Smacker:Tight smack, back-handed smack, front smack, dizzy-in-the-storm smack,two-fingered smack, just-a-smack smack, back smack, sky diving smack and finally double-handed atomic-power smack.
The Kicker: Tiger of flying Shaolin kick, Heavenly spinning kick, moon kick, dancing kick and crumble kick.
The Kisser:(He only have 3 powerful kisses) The bullet kiss, hypnotizing kiss and the kiss of death.
From all this events, I learnt that I can actually do the flying kick and the back-handed smack. Butts can also actually run away from its owner too if we do not take care of them, and who knows, the butt is already starting to form an organization(known as 'butt rally' in the book) to try to take over the world with their deadly and poisonous gases.
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